004: How to Practice Confidence and Define True Beauty with Vanessa Stimmel

June 16, 2018

The Contentment Series

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” – Audrey Hepburn

As women, we REALLY struggle with the definition of true beauty. It always seems to be defined for us, and its meaning has gotten mixed up over generations. In today’s episode, I get to chat with my dear friend Vanessa Stimmel–a personal trainer, Beautycounter consultant, and health and wellness advocate. She and I will dive deep into our definitions of beauty, the struggle with body image for so many women, and what having confidence in ourselves could mean for future generations.

WHAT IS STILL MISSING?

Social norms have run deep for many generations, and though our generation is making progress in redefining beauty, we still have a LONG way to go. So how can we help our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with this? By practicing what we preach. We tell our daughters that they’re beautiful, but then we model a lack of self-confidence in ourselves to them. And not just in our view of our physical appearance, but in our sense of self-worth as well. Let’s change that.

DEFINING REAL BEAUTY

Vanessa’s definition: Confidence. My definition: Authenticity. When a woman is confident and authentic about who God made her to be, she displays a radiance that is dazzling. People are drawn to her. And you know why? Because they want that level of confidence and authenticity for themselves. We have good news: it’s possible for us all.

A DEEPER SELF-LOVE

Vanessa and I agree that the commonly-used term “self-love” doesn’t sit as well as we wish it would in our minds. It’s hard to explain, but we believe this term is lacking in some way. It just doesn’t go deep enough. Yes, we should love ourselves and practice care for ourselves. But it doesn’t end there. Because God sees us through a different lens, and true self-love must look through that lens. In that line of vision, we are made perfect. A perfection that we could not achieve on our own, but through the sacrifice of Jesus.

SO HOW DO WE PRACTICE THAT DEEPER SELF-LOVE?

Truth. Consistent practice in reading, speaking, and praying truth. Where do we find that truth? In the word of God, aka the Bible. Ask him the tough questions, and don’t forget to look for the answers.

COMPLETE HEALING IS POSSIBLE

It takes a lot of practice, a lot of truth-speaking, and a change in perspective (see episode 3), but healing is possible. I know, because I’ve been there. That doesn’t mean I’m not tempted to fall back into my old patterns of self-loathing, but it does mean that I have the power to reverse those thoughts and conquer them before they lead to disaster. Healing is possible for you too!

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Photo by Kirsten Flower

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